i think your sister knows how to turn the FCK UP
Is there anything a natural 20 can’t do?
This is a poster idea I developed to show off the amazingness of tabletop rpgs.
"You attempt to pickpocket the man, but accidentally pull down his pants instead."
"You reach out to push the orc off the bridge, but instead lightly caress his back. He is uncomfortable."
"You try to stab the guard, but you stab your crotch instead. Roll fortitude."
"You say your name is Bob and not Jim. Your lie is misinterpreted and they now believe you are a serial killer."
"You swing your axe, but it slips from your fingers and sails across the room."
"In an attempt to dodge the incoming arrows, you jump into the swarm.”
"You bull rush the enemy but miss and jump off of the cliff."
"You try to land on your feet but you land on your sword instead."
"While providing first aid, your hand slips and you stab him in the heart. He dies instantly."
I CANT BREATHE
i made a button so now i get to carry a demonic omniscient dorito around with me everywhere!
It has come to our attention that you have declared war on the planet Chorus. We regret to inform you that this is a really shitty idea. Not only have you managed to annoy the people that you failed to kill time and time again, you’ve also found a way to piss off an entire planet! Now, they may not have the best equipment, and they might not be the best fighters, but as you’re aware they’ve been fighting for a very long time. And now that they’re not fighting each other, they’re more than happy to dedicate all of their time to fighting you. So, Dear Chairman, to you, and your idiotic mercenaries, we would like to say, “Bring it on, motherfuckers! We’re not going anywhere!”
From your friends,
The incredibly badass, and sexually attractive Red and Blue soldiers of Project Freelancer.
P.S. - Suck our balls.